We only fool ourselves when we think we can figure God out. Just when you start putting Him in a box you’ll be surprised. He can take the life you’re living right now and flip it upside down in an instant and, of course, turn it upright again just to remind you that His plans are much greater, much better and the best for you.
"In the space of worship, as we declare who he is, we remember who we are."
"God is not pleased in our doing, he’s pleased in our being."
I’m going to be completely honest & real here…
I’m tired of looking at the mirror & not appreciating what I see. What? Did Marissa just admit that publicly? Yes, I did.
Since I was a young girl feeling completely comfortable & beautiful in my own skin has been a struggle. However, I don’t think I’m not alone. Whether I’m on school campus, at the mall, on Instagram, or at the grocery store, I see girls around me who are striving for the same thing: to feel beautiful. From the girls who wear almost nothing to the girls who hide behind the baggy clothes, I believe every girl wants to know & feel that they’re beautiful. I’m not talking about feeling beautiful to attract guys, but the kind of beauty that attracts you to yourself. I’m not saying to be vain and narcissistic, but rather I’m proposing to simply love yourself.
Loving yourself is a process. I’m my own worst critic and learning to love myself feels like warfare. Myself vs. myself. The first step I took to loving myself was training myself to look in the mirror to love what I see. Sounds cheesy, but as I recognized what I loved about myself instead of what I hated, a sense of freedom overcame me.
By looking into the mirror and recognizing my beauty, two questions popped into mind: “Why am I trying to hide my flaws?” and “What really am I hiding?” I had to be completely honest with myself in answering these questions. To answer the first question, I try hiding my flaws because I fear rejection. By my human nature, I want people to like me. I want to be accepted by society. I don’t want to be an outcast or considered “ugly”. Little did I realize that I have become accustomed striving to the live up to the false standard of beauty society has constructed. Granted, there are a handful of people blessed with incredibly flawless skin, but I know there are also many women embarrassed of their imperfections because they feel majority of society has flawless skin. Moreover, my answer to the second question brought to mind the story of Adam & Eve and why people hide. People usually hide because they know they’ve done something wrong. When it comes to embracing my beauty I have nothing to hide except the beauty instilled within me.Then it dawned upon me: as a daughter of Christ I’m already accepted. My flaws & imperfections do not rule me. Instead, it is the beauty of Christ, His true & perfect beauty that rules me and is woven into every fiber of my being.
I’m loving Steffany Frizell Gretzinger’s songs off the new album “Tides”. I noticed that it has a common theme of “letting go”. “Letting Go” & “Be Still” are the two songs that have been speaking to me since the album has released & I’ve came to a realization why they are my two favorites…
I have a hard time letting go.
Whether it’s something small or a situation that I have absolute no control over, I feel the Lord is teaching me what it means to really ”let go”.
I’m reminded of the time I was at Whiskeylake earlier this summer. My family rented a boat. Attached to the boat was a hot dog float which seated three people. I rode on it with my cousin. It was fun, but at the same time very terrifying. My cousin would tell my Uncle, who was driving the boat, to increase the speed. Oh, how I hated how she did that. I was screaming and laughing my head off. I felt like I was going to fly off the hot dog and swallow a bunch of lake water. Most of all, I hated not having control. The waves were rough and water was heavily splashing on my face. Yet, it was in the moment when I let go that I truly had fun. I had to accept the fact that I had no control over the wind, over the waves, and over the speed of the boat. All I could do was hold on & follow wherever the hot dog was leading me. My screaming turned to laughing & into soon enough, roars of victory.
That’s kind of how life is: fast, crazy, scary & unpredictable just like riding that hot dog float. All we can do is to trust & follow the guiding of the Holy Spirit to get us through the rough waves in life. We may fall off the hot dog float, but because Jesus Christ is our life jacket we can get back on & keep riding.
Upon remembering my hot dog float experience, ultimately I feel the Lord is telling me that until I can set aside my pride & realize that I don’t have control in life, that is when I’ll truly learn to let go. I need to partner with the Holy Spirit to help guide me through life’s trials & tribulations, not upon my own strength but the Lord’s. Then, I will be living in the total freedom that Christ has already paid for me on the cross.
Let go & let God…